| Mar. 12th, 2007 @ 07:24 pm (no subject) |
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Current Mood:  Empty, Broken
fuck. it's been forever since i last left anything on this thing. so today was pretty much the culmination of my high school career. my rejection letter from umiami. i've been thinking for weeks what i'd give to get the last 3 years back, and to be able to relive high school, making the most of every opportunity, instead of slacking off, and not giving a shit what was going to happen after it was over, like i had imagined that i didnt have to worry, and that i'd get to go wherever i wanted if i was confident enough. i wish so bad that i could have the last 3 years back, and set my life in a new, better direction. it physically hurts to know that i, no one else, i, am completely responsible for what is effectively a failure of my dream, and a plausible dream at that. It sucks so bad to know how easy it could've been to just spend that extra hour or two a night taking life seriously, instead of watching some stupid show about other people's lives that has no affect on MY life. this is a terrible feeling. like the feeling one might get after shooting oneself in the foot. wow. i am a dumbass. |
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bennymull's journal
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